The best efforts of the Hampshire and Isle of Wight Air Ambulance crew save hundreds of lives every year. Sadly, not every patient makes it home to their loved ones.

On 31 May 2023, an incident on Bournemouth beach shook the country. When a ferocious flash rip current tore through the water, it took the lives of 12-year-old Sunnah Khan and 17-year-old Joe Abbess.

Alongside our colleagues at Dorset and Somerset Air Ambulance (DSAA), who treated Joe, we responded by air to give Sunnah the best possible chance of survival. It was the team’s third call of the day.

Stephanie, Sunnah’s mum, was at home in Buckinghamshire (more than two hours away) when she got the devastating call from Sunnah’s dad. She immediately drove to the hospital to be with her daughter.

Ness, Joe’s mum, from Southampton, and her husband travelled down together.

Below, Stephanie and Ness remember that day and their beloved children.

Pictured left to right: Joe and Sunnah

“Sunnah and her three siblings were all really close,” Stephanie said.

“Sunnah and her sister’s birthday are just a day apart. I always imagined what that would be like as they got older.

“She was a bit cheeky and rebellious, but she was so kind. She looked out for everybody – she was the glue that held us all together.”

“Joe’s friends used to call him the ‘dad of the group’,” said Ness.

“Although he was great fun, he looked after everyone. Even on the day they went to the beach he had extra suncream and spare phone chargers for everyone.

“He was training to be a chef at City College, Southampton, and was working as a trainee chef at Southampton Football Club. He had big dreams and was going to go far in life.

“But most of all, he was happy. Joe will always be incredibly loved and very missed.”

Ness thanks Gabi from the DSAA Aftercare team for helping the family to navigate life without Joe.

Both Sunnah and Joe were on a lifeguarded beach following the water safety code with their friends and family. They could both swim confidently and were touching the sandy floor. Suddenly, the conditions changed – and the sand was wiped out from beneath them.

11 people in total were rescued from the water. Tragically, Joe and Sunnah did not make it.

“An Intensive Care Unit at the Beach.”

Our specialist paramedic and doctor team were dispatched by air. They landed directly on the beach and began treating her. She was in cardiac arrest – resuscitation attempts were already under way.

They placed a breathing tube into Sunnah’s airway, which protects the lungs and allows more effective ventilation.

Whilst this intervention can’t undo damage which has already occurred, it can help to protect vital organs including the heart, the lungs and the brain from further potential injury.

They carefully loaded her into the back of a road ambulance and travelled with her to hospital.

Dorset and Somerset Air Ambulance’s Outreach Car Team were dispatched by road to help treat Joe. He too was in cardiac arrest and resuscitation attempts were already under way by the ambulance service and the RNLI beach lifeguards.

The team placed a breathing tube into Joe’s airway, which ensured oxygen was delivered to Joe’s lungs, used strong medications to attempt to restore his circulation and also used a specialist chest compression machine. By providing this package of care, it gave Joe the best chance of survival.’

Joe was taken by road ambulance, accompanied by the Dorset and Somerset Air Ambulance team who continued treatment on the way to hospital.

“I’m an Emergency Department nurse, so I do occasionally come across Air Ambulance services who bring patients to us,” said Stephanie, “so I already had quite a lot of knowledge on them and know how invaluable they are.

“When they told me that the Air Ambulance was attending, I just felt pure relief. I know that their critical care doctors and specialist paramedics can do things that can’t be done by road paramedics – which I was hoping would give Sunnah every chance.”

“The team did absolutely everything they possibly could,” agreed Ness.

“They were an Intensive Care Unit at the beach. They briefly managed to bring Joe back, which provides a lot of comfort for me.

“Joe was a very healthy and strong young man – it’s so scary that he could be knocked off his feet by the sea.”

Since that day, Stephanie, Ness and their families have been left navigating a life they’d never imagined.

“Suddenly you’re in this world that you don’t understand,” said Ness.

“There’s still a massive gap in our lives where Joe should be. Our family feels incomplete without him, as we attempt to navigate life as a three – when we ought to be four.

“But they’re not there. You’ve not only lost your child, but they’ve lost the future that they should’ve had and that you should’ve had with them. Didn’t the world know how precious they were? We’ve got to learn to live with that. Every day.”

Stephanie added: “It’s rare to meet somebody who’s lost a child – you’re still grieving in the same way on day 365 that you were on day one, and people just expect you to move on.

“I just miss Sunnah every day.”

Reflecting on the Air Ambulance response, Stephanie said:

“I didn’t know for a long time that they are a charity and run on donations.

“I met with Dr Nick Maskery, the HIOWAA doctor who led Sunnah’s care. For me, and my nurse brain, I needed to know what had happened, what he had seen and what his opinion was. It was lovely to meet him and know that Sunnah had that care almost as soon as she came out of the water.”

Nikki Harris, Hampshire and Isle of Wight Air Ambulance Aftercare Manager, said:

“It was an honour to be at the meeting between Stephanie and Dr Maskery. In an incident as tragic as this, it was very natural for Stephanie to have questions about Sunnah’s care – providing answers to these questions is a vital part of Aftercare.”

Stephanie added: “Although the outcome wouldn’t have been any different, I know that they did everything they could.”

Joe’s college, family and friends have raised £13,393 for the Air Ambulance – £5,743 for Hampshire and Isle of Wight and £7,650 for Dorset & Somerset. This was raised from funeral donations, a fundraiser event, a memorial meal at City College Southampton and participating in our Dash in the Dark and Fire & Ice Walk events.

Ness and Stephanie have been working with the Royal Life Saving Society (RLSS UK) for their drowning prevention campaigns and to raise awareness of the hazards of the sea.

If you’ve been affected by any of the topics in this article, please visit childbereavementuk.org.